The Back To School Blues

The beginning of the school year always fills my social media with adorable pictures of kids going back to school. The brightly colored clothes and chalkboard signs are a staple! I am a big fan, in fact, my littlest will soon be making an appearance on my social media with the same set up. However, my heart also cracks a bit when I scroll through these precious pictures.

Being a special needs mom means that I miss out on some things and events that I assumed would be a part of our life when I imagined being a mom. Things like school pictures, playing little league, having play dates with his friends, and in this case back to school pictures. Brayden has a busier schedule than most 5 year olds. His weekly schedule consists of 36 hours of ABA therapy, 1 hour of Physical Therapy, 1 hour of Occupational Therapy, 30 minutes of Speech Therapy, and 30 minutes of Equine Therapy. All of these programs are year round so there is not an established first/last day that I could use to take a picture of him with a little chalkboard and a sweet smile on his face.

For years, I have longed to have those pictures. And, if I’m honest it’s one of the things that makes me feel most separate from other families. Believe me, I understand that it sounds silly and unimportant. I get that it is just a picture and a picture does not define a life, but for some reason the back-to-school and school picture days have been one of my grieving points over the past few years.

Coming soon to social media near you.

So, this year I am taking that back! I am establishing that Logan’s first day will also be “Brayden’s first day”. I am going to take a back to school picture with a cute outfit and little sign. I’m not sure how it will turn out with a wiggly 5 year-old, but we will do the best we can because it is important to me and because his accomplishments are worth celebrating even if they do not go by a traditional school calendar.

Stay tuned….