“In reality, Brayden is likely going to have to live with you for the rest of your life”
These words were spoken to me by a reputable doctor this week. No, this wasn’t a developmental doctor or a therapist or anything remotely related to his development. To be honest, I’m not entirely certain as to why he felt the need to say this to me. Perhaps he felt that I needed a dose of reality? Little does he know, I am already reality dosed up.
Truthfully, it is a very real possibility that Brayden will live at home with us. It is also a possibility that Logan will live at home with us. Just like it is a possibility that your child will live at home with you. If you ask my parents they probably think I lived at home with them for too long (because…millennial)! The point is that we do not know the potential or future of any of our children. We can think we have the future somewhat planned out and then BOOM pandemic or BOOM housing crisis. You just never know.
So, to this doctor…..
You do not know me. You do not know my child and you do not know his potential. How dare you try to fit a thriving 3 year old into a little box. How dare you try to minimize his hard work and accomplishments. How dare you try to extinguish a mother’s hope.
There are so many things I wish I had said in that moment, but the unexpected words hit me like a ton of bricks and I just stared at him. This is what I wish I had said.
Mr. Doctor….. I wish you knew that Brayden is remarkable. I wish you could see that he loves to read and is a wiz at identifying letters and numbers. I wish you could see how much he loves animals. I wish you could see his face light up when his favorite song comes on. I wish you could see him listen and obey a given instruction. I wish you could hear his sweet voice sing Jesus Loves Me to anyone who will listen. I wish you had given him a chance. I wish you could see Brayden and not just the diagnosis.
Sincerely,
A Proud and Hopeful Mother
I’m so sorry, everything you said is so right. It’s not too late. You can always write the doctor a note. When we were trying to get help for my dad, the doctor said “ What do you want me to do? He’s old”. While it isn’t nice, I hope when he is old, someone says that to him. You don’t know what will happen in the next decades, focus on now. Hugs to you. 💕
I just can’t…my eyes are welled up with tears. You are incredible. And so is Brayden! And I love how much he loves Jesus! I’m so sorry those words came out of his mouth. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart!
Both of my sisters adult children have Aspergers combined with Bipolar disorder. It’s been a long struggle. Adjusting meds, doctor visits, therapy, so much counseling… and more counseling. She lives nearby and keeps close tabs on them, but they both live independently and are working… while many other young adults in her on line support group with similar medical situations live with their parents. She, like you, is one dedicated, smart Mom who won’t give up or take no for an answer. No one can predict the future, it’s in God’s hands.
We have an amazing God and only He holds the key to Brayden’s future. Brayden has so much potential! And value! I will be praying for your family. I knew Wesley when he was little and knew God would be directing his path….just as He will direct Braydon’s path.
Oh Sarah. That doctor had no idea what he was saying or who he was saying it to! Logan and Brayden are blessed with a loving, hard working, smart, and resourceful family. God knew what He was doing! Love to you.
Hugs to all of you. Only God knows what is ahead for any of us. You’re a wonderful Mother.
Brayden has a beautiful and bright future ahead of him. Love you friend!
You are a woman of courage, blessed by a close walk with the Lord and an amazing family. With God, all things are possible. When you were 3 years old, who would have predicted you to have such wonderful writing skills? May we all use our gifts and talents to fulfill God’s call on our lives.
Your words are beautifully written from the heart. There is one future that I can predict for Brayden. Peace, love, and freedom because of his love for Jesus. And that is the most important aspect of his future. And I know that through Brayden, God will be glorified. I do believe Brayden will accomplish great things.
There are four girls in my family. My mom had the german measles when she was pregnant with Denise, the youngest of all of us. The doctor told my mom to abort because Denise would most likely be born with no limbs and many other physical and mental complications. Denise was born deaf with supposed learning disabilities.
My sister will turn 56 this year. She is also retiring this year from the Portsmouth Naval Yard where she has worked for over thirty years. She attended grade school, high school and even college. She also was a star softball player, a goalie on a men’s hockey team, and won numerous awards in lumber jack competitions. And believe it or not, she actually left home earlier than all the rest of us girls.
She has traveled all over the U.S. on her own and has made friends where ever she goes. Doctors do not know everything. Just think if my mom had listened to her doctor what a terrible loss that would be.
How wise and articulate your words are about your sweet, beautiful and intelligent son, Sarah! Bravo for being an example of a Mama Bear that speaks truth over our children’s lives. Ignorance spoken through the lips of a so-called professional only shows how foolish man can be and how much bigger our God is ….who alone can do more than we could ever ask or think. I hear your struggle and suffering over this, Sarah and am so sorry. I will pray for continued strength and encouragement through words that are really true…
“And we know that God causes ALL things to work together for good to those (like Brayden) who love God, to those (like Brayden) who are called according to His purpose.”
Love you guys 💕