I have an identity. Actually, I have multiple identities. I am a Jesus-follower, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a mother, a cat lady, etc. However, one of my most proud identities is being a mother of exceptional children. As most parents can tell you, the days can be difficult and there is a lot to juggle, but there are precious and proud moments that eclipse all of the frustration.
For the past several years, I have been in full mommy-mode and advocate mode. Most of my thoughts are consumed with making sure my children’s needs are sufficiently met or anticipating needs. However, lately I have been thinking about what is going to happen when my children grow up. What is going to replace the days that are currently filled with driving to and from multiple therapies, scheduling appointments, phone calls to different doctors and therapists, completing assessments, running therapies at home, and dealing with insurance companies over and over again?
I can’t imagine.
Sure, there are a lot of days where I long for a break from the tornado of tasks that sit on my to-do list everyday, but they have become my normal. Give me a little dry shampoo, makeup, and a latte and I become supermom, checking off my list and not taking no for an answer. But what about when the need for scheduling and appointments end? What happens when my children can make their own appointments and handle their own insurance needs?
I can’t imagine.
This is who I have become and I am so proud to be a part of the special-needs community. However, at some point, I will be a parent who no longer is the mother of a special-needs baby/toddler/pre-teen/teenager and I might be the one giving suggestions rather than seeking them. Who am I then?
If you thought that I was going to come to some profound conclusion at the end of this post, you are mistaken because I do not know. I am afraid that I have wrapped up all of my identity into this one role and I have forgotten to embrace the other identities I hold. I am terrified that my unique sweet babies make me special and when they no longer need my care 24/7, I will fade into the masses.
Fortunately, I have years ahead of me to figure this out. How do you maintain an identity outside of “mommy” or “daddy”? Give me all the tips in the comments below!
